Quite honestly, I signed up with Blogspot late last year and I posted first on 7th Dec 2008. Almost an year since I signed up. I thought, OK, I am going to post my next thing may be in quite some time, but I returned only 24 hours later of my first post to entertain (I guess) again. I am bought over by the idea of blogging and there is a strange but positive enthusiasm to write frequently. So I am going to do it very often from now on.
This post is about my family and my early child hood and most of the time I regret growing up as an adult. Such a fantastic childhood I had.
Let me start with my Family:
My Dad, my Mom, Younger sister and a younger brother. Five of us in all. Well, not really there has been an addition of a cute little dog into the household. Bruno!!! Hes very intelligent and very manipulative. So much so, that my considers him her 3rd son and yeah, surely, he gets the treatment which is most circumstances, better than the way my mom would treat us. So 6 in all.
My Dad, Ramadas, is the youngest of 8 children of my grand father. He is a man of immense character. Very candid, a man of principles, is void of any feeling of jealousy, self-centered ness. Absolutely fearless. Hes got a sense of humor which he inherited from my grand father. I havent been fortunate to experience the humor my grandpa presented, I understood it from my the stories that my dad's cousins and everyone in our family recite every now and then. My dad is such a favorite at every family gathering and there are hoards of people just waiting to catch up with him and share a laugh. He some times has the welcome of a super star at weddings and other ceremonies. All my cousins are a big fan of him. To me, my mom, my sister and brother, HE IS A HERO. He is my HERO too. And why?
Do I mention any reasons? I must.
My dad struggled right from his childhood. Belonging to a family with 8 kids, I guess that he would not have got the attention that he deserved amongst all his siblings. He is the one who ran around for all the chores and he did it with utmost efficiency. Only he did it and no one else did all these. Hes been a hard worker. Havent had the best of eduction, but he got it for all of us. He managed to get us admissions in convents and till today, I get goose bumps when I think about how he managed to get the money for our education.
He only bought 3 pairs of clothes every 4-5 years for himself, but made sure that we 3 had the best clothes to wear for every festival.
Several times I have seen him eat his meal with just some chutney my mom made, but he would ask if we had everything first. We always got what we wanted to eat, sweets and savories, ceremonial stuff and what not.
He never had the luxury of a a very high paying job or an office job. He belonged to the construction industry and always toiled hard in extreme climate without proper protection and came home late in the night, in rain sometimes, in cold (fortunately it doesnt snow here) and usually in a jaded but composed condition. BUT, I write this blog in my own air-conditioned glass cabin and I have a laptop and Blackberry to ease my work. While I write this, I am sure my dad is helping with a repair of some machine, trying to bring it back to working condition, in a noisy garage and with his hands full of liquid gold but BLACK in color. I want to convey that he always mastered the art of providing his kids with the necessities of a powerful eduction and a career while he gave up on so many luxuries just to make us cosier.
My dad, for 3 of us is an epitome of affection, will power, fearlessness and unconditional Love. He is an emblem for MAGNANIMITY. His acts were and forever will be magnanimous.
The irony is, I never had an opportunity to express what I think of him and what feelings I have for him. I am overshadowed by my own selfish acts, petty stuff and the feeling of fear just overtakes me whenever I want to make an effort to express it to him. But I am sure, I will do it soon. What I think of him is what he must know. To a certain extent, I blame it on the culture with which we (Indians and more importantly, South Indians) are brought up with. As sons start to grow in age and maturity, the distance between their dads expands and expands to exponential ratios. I belong to that clan of people, where sons are very obedient to their dad. I was obedient, but only till I returned from Canada 4 years ago.
I came back from Canada, assuming I have grown up. Alas, I didnt, as many situations made me realize that. I returned confident, aggressive and not the same old Rajesh who was timid, very obedient and unawares of the world. Here I am, having seen the other side of the world, and quite bemused by my ability to connect with anyone at any level, professionally. Personally it was a disaster.
I could not connect with my dad with my ideologies about profession, career and business. This widened the gap. And several times our talk ended with frowns on our faces. And I realized how important it is to stay connected with your parents and with my dad more importantly. This realization helped me or rather forced me to give up on my business objectives and try to be an obedient son to a dad. 2 years its been since I gave up on my business objectives and retorted to my dad's objectives and I have been happy. But every now and then the worm in my brain starts to scratch and brings a resolution. But my priority is to secure my dad's objectives first and then secure my interests later. I am not too far away from achieving that and I am sure when I achieve my objectives, my dad would smile and say, perhaps I should have encouraged you 5 years ago when you started off.
For now, my dad has his cool new job and a busy work schedule. He needs only work. He has a daughter who works in an expansive company in the United States, he has a younger son who also works for a huge company and is in the process of shaping his career. He has me, also, in his world, working as a top executive in a Fortune company, "without" business aspirations. I am fortunate, he cannot read out my mind, the worm just keeps working on the business aspirations and goes unnoticed. His wife, busy with her household work and most busy with planning her kids' wedding in the future. Mind you, shes started shopping for the wedding already.
My dad's weekends are his best time to spend time with his favorite cousins, Balaji (more about him later)
This post is about my dad and what I think of him. More about my family in the later posts.
Have a great week ahead.
Rajesh
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